haha! this morning, i was really damn nervous abt the results arh . you know, when people around you have been telling you your results aren't good enough . Ok . i got to know that i have a re-test . That means that i have to take the failed paper again . but then, in the classroom, my name aren't in the list of the re-test . so you know it . hahas . Ok . Went out with Faye and Ah9 . haha finally met them . Been wanting to meet them for quite a while arh . hahh . So we went to Marina Square to find ah9's item for his tmr party i think . hahs . Then we went to eat at suntec . Then went to meet ah9's friend and whatever bla bla bla..... hahh . anw thanks to both of you . hehs. chatted with them uh little bit . yea . that's all uh . heheh . finally met them in person . ah now ah9 no more secret . haha . don't worry lah i won't go your house or anything . haha!








eh guess what? you guys are very friendly lah. haha. nice being with you guys. hehe.

trust me . i don't need you or whoever to sort things out . i can do it on my own . yes you can say whatever you want .it has nothing to do with her or anybody . don't try to act funny . no one is perfect . so do you . so do i . we're all humans afterall . everyone have weaknesses . everyone have mistakes . C'mon lah . it's hari raya lah . i want to forgive people . and also want people to forgive me . I don't want to make any enemies right now . whoever you are . what the fuck . if you think you're perfect tell me who you are . what the fuck is wrong about telling who you are . and yes . one thing . you sound familiar . to you! you know who you are . it's either you or your friend . you know who you are . you're someone i'm familiar with . that's why you know what's happening around me isn't it . hah . think of it lah .






think before you post lah damn it!

heyyyy! yessssssss . the waited day . Muahaha . Fasting month has ended bebeh! it's like! omfg .time pass so fast . it's like how many hours to hari raya . the most respected day for us because of.........................HEHE . paham2 lerr . standard . Okay lahh ade meaning lain juge . OK . To everyone that is reading this post . i wanna wish you .

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!

SALAH SILAP HARAP DIAMPUN!

SELAMAT HARI RAYA! again. hehe.


OKAY. HERE COMES. THE BUNGA API! HEHE. FIRE BEBEH.
OKAY. BYE. ENJOY YOUR RAYA DAYS DUDE. DON'T END UP IN HOPITAL AYE!

A constant wave of tension , on top of a broken trust . The words that you told me , i learned that they were never true . Now i find myself in question . Is that the truth? It's guilty by association . Somehow , i wanna run away , never say goodbye . I wanna know the truth , instead of wondering why . I wanna know the answers , no more lies . I just wanna shut that goddamn door and open up my mind . The words you told , has more than filled me up . I don't know what you're expecting of me . I'm just feeling so faithless , lost under the surface . I just really don't know what you're expecting of me . And i know , i may end up failing too . But i know , i am just dissapointed with someone like you . You love the things I say I'll do . The way I'll hurt myself again just to get back at you . You take away when I give in . I can't help the fact that i can see this scars . But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe my words . So I let go, watching you, turn your back at me . I can't feel the way i did before . Just don't turn your back on me . yes no one wants to be ignored . but time won't heal this damage anymore . But I'll be here 'cause you're all that i've got . You're fading away . What's more can i say?





this is random . -Runaway.

When this began . I had nothing to say . And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me . I was confused . And I let it all out to find, that i'm not the only person with these things in mind . Inside of me . But all the vacancy the words revealed, is the only real thing that i've got left to feel . There's nothing to lose . Just stuck, hollow and alone . And the fault is my own . I just wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real . I wanna let go of the pain i've held so long . I wanna erase all the pain till it's gone . I wanna feel like i'm close to something real . I wanna find something i've wanted all along . And i've got nothing left to say . I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face . I was confused, again . Looking everywhere only to find you . This is not the way I had imagined it all in my mind . So what am i to you? What do I have? nothing but negativity . I just can't justify the way everyone is looking at me . There's nothing to lose . There's nothing to gain . I will never know myself until I do this on my own . And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed . I will never be anything till I break away from me . I will break away, I'll find myself today .








- somewhere i belong.
you'll somehow realise . the importance of it .

You Are a Punk Rocker!

When it comes to rock, you don't follow any rules .You know that rocking out is all about taking down the man. You've got an incredible stage presence and rock persona. You scare moms, make bad girls (or boys) swoon, and live life on the edge!

alright . found this at some website . decided to do and post it here . so here it is.

yea . the time 2+ . haha . Kinda bored actually . Can't sleep though . So, I decided to chat with Azi and gave him this topic to post at his blog . It's about who's the best guitarist, bassist , drummer and vocalist, that we've known . yeahh . List down top 3 of them . ok . Here I go .
The top three guitarist i know uhh? well , the first one will be, Azi uhh . I can't deny that . his superb skill in guitar . damn! . kembang uhh tu . hahaha! kays . the second one will be, anxx uhh . yea . the HC president is also one of the best guitarists i've known . yea . i have to agree on that . alright . the third one shall be, Hadi/Farhan . yea . Both of them . they're just that good la . hahs . kay . Now switch to bassist . right . the first on the list will be Zaha . yea . I have to agree on that . he plays the bass damn well . kay, the second one will be Irfan uhh . yea . he too plays the bass damn well . right . the third one will be.......ok uh none other than my kakak saudara , Janiah . yea watched once . haha . kay . now to drummer . yea . The first one got to be Hanif . yea , the decent guy but.... yeaaa . i've watched him play . yea . probably the one of the best drummers i've known . The second one got to be Zul . yea . the first person i've watched who plays damn well . right . the third is mat rock uh . his facial expression . whoah . rock habis beb! haha . kay . now to vocal . thy shall be Ilyas , Hadi and..... Azi! he screamo like Alesana beb! haha . bcos i don't know much vox, so i can't mention it here . hell yeah! that's it . hahas.

We drive tonight , and you are by my side . We're talking about our lives , like we've known each other forever.the time flies by , with the sound of your voice . Its close to paradise , with the end surely near . And if i could only stop the car and hold onto you , and never let go , I'll never let go , as we round the corner to your house you turned to me and said , "i'll be going through withdrawal of you for this one night we have spent." and, i want to speak these words but i guess i'll just bite my tongue , and accept "someday, somehow" as the words that we'll hang from . and i , i don't want to speak these words. 'cause i, i don't want to make things any worse. and i , i don't want to speak these words. 'cause i, i don't want to make things any worse. why does tonight, have to end ? why don't we hit restart ,and pause it at our favorite parts . we'll skip the goodbyes . if i had it my way,i'd turn the car around and runaway,just you and i . and i , i don't want to speak these words . 'cause i , i don't want to make things any worse . and i , i don't want to speak these words'cause i , i don't want to make thingsand i , i don't want to make things any worse.

-Tiger Lily / Matchbook Romance .


i can't help it listening to this song . hehs . =))

.

Yeah . the time here is 1+ here . Nothing to do actually . Bored . Yeahh . Been talking to that horny maniac anxx and Azizi . We're talking crap . hahas . Kinda about HC thingy uhh . hahas . ehh bila korang nak taubat? Aku dah taubat dah . hahaha . Just now went to play soccer at Esso . Right . Got a group of abg2 ar . Naik motor . One of them is like Andy.Hajime sia . the physical appearance quite same . Serious . Looked like Andy . But still they're unbeatable sia . One of them say we play very dangerous . Did we? haha . Well, i guess that's it for today . Now i'm listening to Green Day's Jesus Of Suburbia! Dearly Beloved is my fav part . it's been a long time since i've listen to that . hahas . k uhh . that's it . k byeeeeeeeee.

yeahh . Trivium's new album is out . The Crusade . 10/10/06 . Yeah i've heard their songs . No screaming though . But still nice . Been waiting for it . hahas . Yeah just now was Physics . Okay uh . Then go 'session' at anxx's house . dengar2 session pe . session sekejap jek . Then we all lepak la ape la . buat kerja bodoh sak kita . ASL UH CHAIRMAN HC SELALU JADI MANGSA? TAK FAIR UH! CIS! TAKPE2 . AKU NAK RESIGN . HAHAHAHAHA!

hahas . Back from playing soccer with them . Suppose to go terawih but played soccer instead . hahas . right . Normal place . Esso . And bad things happened just now . haas . first was Mir , my primary school friend uh , fell after being tackled . Then anxx fell after being tackled . Both timing was same . It was like very nice sia . i mean the timing uh . Not the fall . Then something happened to me . JENGJENGJENG!


---------------------------------------------------------------------

Guess what ? the HC chairman have been 'gangbang-ed' by his own team members , Which is least expected by him . actually it was me lah . hahas . anxx said that he will be updating more about this . so go go read his blog . and tag too . hahas .



ok . that's all . byeeeeee.

time flies by so fast sey . it's nearly two weeks of puasa-ing . yeahh . Damn fast . Many things have been done . rights . i mean , look! exams are finishing! two more to go . physics and DnT . I'll definitely need help for my Physics . Physics and maths is kinda same . well as you know i never liked maths since young . I dont really know why . it's like remembering the formulaes and what ever shit . i hate that . well yeah forget about it . these few days i was like kinda lazy to on the comp and what ever lahhs . But yeahh i'll find this time to update my blog . right . i have cut my freaking long hair . but kinda miss the old long hair though . well i think i just need more sleep . i was soooooo sleepy over these few days . zZz . yeahh that time that we went to the lib to study chem , it was fun . sure . but we're not cheapskates wouldn't want to eat at KFC and all . take a look around . there's the bazaar with cheap and nice food . so what's the point of eating expensive food? hahah . anxx , alif and Adah yeahh really did have a good time . It was the first time having to break- fast with them . you know it's kinda fun when you eat where you want with your close friends . yeahh it's fun . but still waiting to go with my whole malay class though . sure it's gonna be a hell lot of fun . well , i think that's all . anymore updates will be updated . take care of yourselves . and don't find any trouble . byeeeeee!



________________________________________________.

that wasn't me on the tagboard obviously.
you can check the ip address if you don't believe.

fine . i get it . i can understand you . if that's what you want , it makes you happy . fine . Yes . Now i knew. i'm sorry for what i did . it's too late for regrets . Yeah . Let bygones be bygones. there's no use thinking about the past . i'm sorry for making you cry and whatever . it's just that... nvm , someday you'll understand. Yes. i respect your decision . good for you , you've found someone new . Yes , i won't be thinking abt this thing anymore . i really2 respect your decision . Just one thing . do i have to forget you?. do i have to forget a friend?. am i that bad , after what had happen , that you ask me to forget you? why can't we still be friends?. is it a crime to do that? if it is , i'm sorry then. i'll try my best to do what i can . don't worry abt me . i never felt better . thank you for everything . i knew it's hard for me to take it . but yeah. i'll guess i have to . it's better to end this way rather than ending up as enemies . Yeah . i respected your decision . so will you do the same for me?. i just hope you will . that's all that i want .


Pretend it's not forever,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,
I'll breathe.
And I'll say she never hurt me,
And look at it as learning,
And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever.
We don't belong together,
I know I'll feel better,
One day when I can make it through.
I won't forget you.






emotion conquers my soul, robs me of myself.
____________________________________________________________**

Ok. Just now went to Solat terawih with Azi and Irfan. Supposed to meet them at 8, but i came about 10 minutes late. Sorry uhh. Bus lambat. haha. When i reached there, Irfan saw me then he called up to me. I saw hime alone. Then i ask him uh where is Azi. He say Azi gi ambik wuduk pay toilet. Then Irfan ask to chill outside mosque first uh, while he lit his BD ciggs. While smoking, Irfan say he pening. I said to him, if headache don't smoke lah. If he sick no one will send him home. haha. Then we went in for solat Isyak and Terawih. Irfan tied up his hair. He does look different though. Like a girl uh. haha. Eh no offence ehh. I can't imagine if he's botak. haha. Then we got to sheng siong uh. I was phsyco-ing Azi about belanjer soya bean. Then I thought he was just kidding about treating us. But yeah he did. haha. Thanks uhh. We bought the vitamilk that bottle thing. I ask Azi if got can opener or not. Then he said sheng siong got. Then wtf. haha sheng siong tak ada! We asked this Auntie uh if got can opener or not. The funny thing was she showed us the basket. So we laughed uhh. hahaha! Then we decided to go the nearby coffeeshop uh. Then we o a bey a som see who lose will ask for the can opener. I lost so i had to ask. I was kinda scared sia want to ask. The uncle face like very fierce. haha. Then never ask ah. go 7-11 to ask for can opener. okay here goes the funny part.

I moved towards the cik there uh.
looked kinda fierce when i ask this.


Me: cik, ade can opener tak?
Makcik: ade. kenape? nak bukak ape?
Azi: boleh tolong bukak air ni?
Makcik: ahh? mana beli air ni?
Me: beli kat kedai.
by the time i said this, both of them are laughing.
Makcik: aku tahu lah beli kat kedai. kedai mana?
Makcik: kau jangan nak loyar burok dgn mak cik ehh.
We: kita beli dekat sheng siong ah cik.
Makcik: ohh cakap lah. makcik pon kadang busted jugak. beli kat sheng siong.
We heard the makcik said that. we laughed. hahaha!

The way she said it's like she supporting sheng siong althought she work at 7-11.
Then we chill outside the 7-11.
Then we got home.
We walked together. yeahh.
So now i'm home. haha.
k byeeeeeeeeeeeee.

So go today, I will not see you next week, with you there and with me in between, And then you won't be obligated to talk to those who've left you behind. I can't tell, if you're even real or are you feign,Try to judge, those you've left behind, So look at me, standing in the hollow air and I'm now. Leaving you this time. And then you will not say that everything's alright,As you stand there, and swear on hopeless nights that go today. Don't bother me, your eyes are looking vicious overturned. Those dreams I had of you. What once were nice, turned into a million nightmares, Listen to me, I've got news for you. These nights shine bright with anger tonight. As I'm won't be calling you tonight. i'm broken and bleeding on the inside.




Answer this question.





if my lungs won't let me breathe,
will you be there for me?

As you know,the Horny Club(HC) is an organisation.ANXX always wanted and will always want because of the horny-nessin him.i think he gian already.he always touch here,touch there lahh.aiyohh.haha he is the chairperson ahh beb.shamsiah is the vice-chairperson and im one of the members.Aims of Horny Club:+to satisfy haikal's need+to be the horniest kambing in the planet+talk crap and junk and horny at the tagboardwho want to join?its free!all you have to do is sign-up through the tagboard and you get a kiss from ANXX!is'nt it sweet?come join.promotion starts today.ahh best tau join tak menyesal forever. :)


_______________________________
updates!!

+Azi is now the datuk perdana menteri of the Horny Club.He just sign a contract with us and to reward his loyalty he will get to eat monyet biri-biri masak di kuali cicah asam pedas for thenext 5 years.fuyyohh comfirm sedap punye!sape lagi nak join angkat tangan!

Okay. I did a mistake. And my biggest mistake. Fine. It's my mistake. It's my fault. Blame me all you want. Hate me all you want. I'll accept it. Cuz it's my mistake. It's worthless shedding tears for these. I kept thinking back about this. And even shed my tears during the exams. My thoughts are just running wild. I kept thinking about this. One thing that is sure, i've made a big mistake. I can't stop thinking about this. It's bothering me. It's not that easy for me to forget it just like that. Well yeah, I admit it. It's my mistake. Everything is my fault. Hate me. I'll accept it. Here. i tell you what is my biggest mistake. My biggest mistake is Loving someone like you. A person like you. Yeah. That's my biggest mistake. So i guess you'll have nothing to worry about now. Don't blame yourself for this. Blame me.








this is a honest mistake that i did.
the biggest mistake.
never should have done that.
now this time has passed and full of regret.








Everything passes by and there's nothing i can do to turn back time.
and i'm sorry. okay?

i decided to delete the last post. it never meant to bring you down or whatever. i was just so frustrated over a few things. i was just wasn't myself thinking that part of the time. sorry if it had bring you down. i never meant to. Go ahead do whatever you want. I guess there's no other way of doing it. i was kinda frustrated over these things that i just want to put here. You can say whatever you want about me. I dont really give a fuck. There's no use either. Many people have known. Its concerning me much. Sorry if it had hurt anyone in any way. This is just a simple apology. Really. I never meant to hurt you so much. It's just that...ahh nvm. Forget it. There's no use writing it here. Someday you'll get it. Haiz. Time will tell. It will heal everything. Soon. I'm sorry if i ever hurt you in any way. I'm not hating you for anything. I don't hate people for stupid reasons. I know i too have done my mistakes. Just forget it. Things past. I didn't force you do to anything. I didn't ask you to do anything. Get that clear. So please. Understand me. I'll never forget someone like you. Never will i. And the stories you told me. It's great knowing someone like you. I hoped you're happy with your life, I know you are. I'm just living another day in disguise. This is the wicked end i've been talking about. These feelings can't be right. I'll find a way without you. Don't ask about me, i'm not that worth it. Label me, that's fine, I'll be somebody else. Oh you're so insightful, let me remind you to twist and break me. A sorry life in judging every action it is all about. You can hate me however you want. Don't change the fact. I'm still here. Don't live your life in vain, don't take it out on me. There's no need to tell you what's in my mind. You'll sure to know. And i hope your pride still running high, always on your side. So much time i've wasted. Our friendship makes it mine.




this lyric will speak for me.

So much time I've wasted.I can truly say I never thought it would come to this.Never would I doubt you, but the truth kept smacking me in the face.Reality. You never stopped to think and you ripped us apart.How could you? Now our time is gone but it's still breaking my heart.Tears run down as I think of the days we've had,and the memories will last forever,but you and I have died and gone our separate ways.You are the one.You are the wrong one.Breaking the mold.Going your own way.All I feel, betrayal.So much time I've wasted, and I never thought it'd come to this.Apology.We had something great, then it was washed away.We had something more, then I can explain.I'm sorry. No! We had something great, then it was washed away.No! Not all friendships last, the genuine are harder to take.No! Time to start again, hope someday you'll think of me.No! The end reality, I know someday I'll think of you.




Giving Up.